Cool As F*** Garlic Noodles

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We wear sunglasses at night

Yeah, long time, blah blah…. Speaking of a long time ago, one of the first posts I made for this blog was for Chinese New Year 2008. If you scroll all the way to the bottom, you’ll see a video of me steaming a whole fish. Featured in that video commenting on how delicious the fish is because it was made by her uncle (who was and is still a damn good cook – not to mention so much better looking 16 years ago) is my niece who was 7 years old at the time. Her name is Maia and she’s now a full on singer songwriter who goes by the name mxmtoon who’s been on multiple tours and performed for tens of thousands and has millions of followers on her various social media channels. So could it be that her appearance in my vid, her first foray into internet video content as it were, served as the inspiration for her to pursue her creative and artistic ambitions? In my mind, the answer is unequivocally yes. But don’t take my word for it. You can listen to a whole radio story that I produced about her rapid rise wherein she admits that indeed, if not for me, she would be nowhere. Okay that is completely not true but the point is, if there’s a grain of truth that watching her uncle make that fish video was in anyway inspirational, then my own kids, similarly inspired, might as well be accepting their future grammys, emmys and oscars (maybe they’ll be EGOTS) because they’ve been participating in my damn videos since they were both in diapers.

The point of all this meandering (as if there needs to be a point) is that my kids love these videos – watching them and being in them. They have been the ones to spur me on to make the last few food vids (well them and their mom who’s like “you’ve got to make videos while they’re still cute!”). And while I should have been doing more (frankly, I got a little jaded on the process – due to the fact that barely anybody watches these vids) I’m so glad to have done the ones we have because I realize, it’s not about the number of views (although more would be nice). It’s the fact that these videos are little time capsules of me and the kids during these last few years and the delicious foods and recipes that are their legacy. In fact I’ve come to realize that this whole blog, if anything is just a personal journal of my life as seen through food stories that just happens to exist on the internet for the world (an spam bots) to see. Looking at the various posts and pages is a reminder of who I was and where I was at different points in life and it’s great to have those touchstones. Of course I’m appreciating this now as I thought this whole blog had crashed a few days ago and I was trying to be all zen about the possibility that these years of posts were gone forever. Fortunately, it was just down for an hour AND I backed everything up. Phew! OK, so what was this post about again? Jesus, give me younger get to the point Clarence to meandering middle-aged Clarence any day. Let’s keep this moving!

Ok, task master! Alright, so, last week, Mona comes to me with this third grade homework assignment. It’s called a DYOH (Do Your Own Homework) project and she says, “Baba, I want to make a cooking video.” So I’m like, “Ok, go ahead.” She’s like, “No, I want you to help me make a cooking video.” I’m like, “Wait, who’s homework is this anyway?! Isn’t it enough that I contributed to giving you life?!” Listen, I’m trying my damndest to be a hard-ass old school Asian dad who teaches his kids the true meaning of self reliance by yelling at them to just do everything themselves (this works about half the time). But really, I’m kind of a softy and upon looking down at the sweet beseeching face of my second born, of course I relented and said, “OK, what should we make?” We settled on garlic noodles because they are a true Bay Area original, they’re easy to make, are damn delicious and we had all the ingredients. They are:

INGREDIENTS:
1 lb Noodles (any fresh noodles from an Asian Market or dried spaghetti)
4-6 tbsp butter
5-7 cloves of garlic (finely chopped)
2-3 tbsp oyyster sauce
2-3 tbsp fish sauce
1-2 tbsp Maggie sauce
1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese

And this is how we do it:

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Smoothie time! AKA Lazy Parent Meal

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Look at how smooth this smoothie is?!?

Hello people! Yup, it’s been a while. Anything happened since my last post? Oh boy. Needless to say, things have shifted a bit in the outside world as well as on the family front with the Ting fam. More on this later perhaps in a future post – maybe three years from now, given my current track record with this blog. But the main thing is holy shit! The kids are growing so fast! My wife constantly reminds me to do more of these videos while the kids are still (kind of) cute and I’m always like ” yeah, yeah, yeah…” But then Mona my now 7-year old(!) was like, “Baba, can we make a food video?” And I was like ” yeah, yeah yeah…” But here’s the thing: Mona is very persistent and her constant asks and reminders turned my “yeah, yeah, yeah” into an “Ok, fine! What should we make?” We went through the list of things I like to cook and what the family likes to eat. A lot of the dishes we’ve already done for this blog (please peruse after consuming this post) and other dishes seemed needlessly complicated in terms of actually cooking and actually filming. You see, I’m going to break some news here. If it wasn’t absolutely obvious, I’m kind of – no totally – lazy and I just didn’t feel like making a huge effort (God, as I write this I’m realizing what a terrible parent I’ve become or have always been), so I decided to go with what was easiest. The “dish” we settled on was… you guessed it (because you’re a genius and or read the above title of the blog post): a smoothie!

For this one, I went with what we had in the freezer/ fridge, so I didn’t have to go grocery shopping. In this case it was:

Ingredients List

Almond Milk Beverage
Strawberries
Bananas
Mangos
Honey
Peanut Butter

Often, to make the smoothie “healthier” I’ll add kale but we didn’t have any.  So here’s how we do it.  Although honestly, if you need instructions on how to make a smoothie, well then you might need more help than I can offer you here.  Really this video is for savoring that magical dynamic between two charismatic kids and their tired and jaded father.  But don’t thank me, thank Mona.  Please enjoy.

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Back to basics: broth

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chicken bones + water + heat + time = broth

Hi all, I can’t believe it’s been over six months since my last post. Actually I can because that’s been my normal blog schedule more often then not, because you know, life). What I have a harder time believing is that here we are in December (the tail end of 2020) and we’re still in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. If you’re remotely aware of current events, you’ll have some idea of why we’re still in this position, so I’m not going to get into it here and talk about how there’s been a total lack of national leadership in dealing with this pandemic, etc. What I will get into is how much I appreciate what I consider another one of the basics that any home cook should have in his/her/their repertoire: broth.

Why broth? Well, by making your own broth you can save money (always a positive in my book) AND thumb your nose at dumb ass foodie trends and bullshit marketing. I hope you weren’t reading that last sentence aloud at work, on zoom or with your kids present. I guess you can say I have some strong feelings when it comes to the way certain things in the food world become fads and crass commercialism kicks in. Case in point: “bone broth”. People have been making broth for as long as food scraps and bones have existed but it’s only been in the last few years with cross-fit and the keto diet gaining traction that you have the rise of bespoke, hipster, artisanal bone broth which will often run you anywhere from $5-$8 for a 16 oz. container. Listen, I get it. If you don’t have the time nor the bones to actually make it yourself, then by all means, go ahead and buy it. But, if you cook at home, eat meat and have time, then there’s really no excuse. You should make your own broth – not “bone broth” just broth. It’s so easy. All you need are bones that you will have saved from your meat, an oven and time to roast those bones, water and a pot and stove to boil those bones. That’s it. You can also add vegetables if you want. I usually, don’t because I use my broth as a base for other soups or I add it to sauces or gravies. Alright, here’s how I do it.

Broth with an assist from the kids.

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Back to basics: yogurt

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Fresh homemade yogurt

I’ll keep this short and sweet. We’ve been in lock down (shelter in place/ social distance mode) for at least a month and a half.  So, I thought I would make videos of really simple things that I never really thought warranted videos.  But given a lot of time to reflect – like, a lot of time during this pandemic – I realized that sometimes it’s the simple things that we take for granted.  Case in point: yogurt.  It’s probably the easiest thing to make provided you have milk, a yogurt starter (any plain yogurt should work provided it has live yogurt cultures), a way to keep it warm (110°F) and time (a few hours).  People have been making yogurt for millenia, so it’s literally not rocket science, because rockets did not exist 5000 years ago.  Unless aliens were actually the ones who… oh never mind.  Check out the video for how I do it. As yogurt making is so simple and easy, it’s inherently calming, because you’re doing nothing but waiting.  And so, inspired by my niece and her first foray into ASMR, I decided to try my hand at making a calm and soothing video. Let’s just say, at least the yogurt turned out.  I’ll let you be the judge. Please watch with volume up or headphones for the full calming effect.

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Leftovers: What Am I Going To Do?! Ep. 1

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Let me just put this out there: I love leftovers like a fat kid loves cake!  Shout out to 50 Cent.  Now what I don’t love are global pandemics like COVID-19. However, as we are all trying our best to shelter in place in order to flatten the curve (it’s real, let’s all do our part), like others I find myself cooking a whole lot more out of necessity and also to keep sane. That means a whole lot more leftovers, which because I Iove them – as I mentioned at the top – is “a good thing”. Oh my God, I just quoted Martha Stewart! Fuck you, Coronavirus!

But sometimes, instead of the actual meal – like actual, say, lasagna leftovers – I’m left with just the extra flat sheets of egg pasta (homemade because the grocery stores were completely out of all pastas! #panicbuying #humblebrag) I used for the lasagna. What do I do then? Well, coincidentally, that theoretical was based on true life events.   And I’ll tell you what I did.  I cut that pasta up into noodles and found other ingredients in my fridge that went well with egg noodles:  sausage, zucchini, garlic, lemon, capers. And then I threw it all together and made another delicious meal! Because that’s what I do: I make leftovers more delicious.

Fortunately for you, I also I made video with my 4 year-old iphoneSE (with a dirty front lens I can’t clean – thank you Apple!) and my 4 year-old daughter (with a mostly clean front face)  because I’m kind of going crazy and just wanted to make something without thinking about it too much.  So, give a watch and hopefully it inspires you to do something creative and delicious with your leftovers.

 

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