What’s so funny? Noodles.

Hello, All!  Um, Mom, sis, I’m talking to you. Well time certainly does fly when you’re not blogging, eh?  Yes, It’s been  a year since I published my (self-annointed) masterpiece “Cooking With Kaya Ep. 2: Fried Chicken!!!” As you might recall (especially if you’ve just re-read that brilliant entry) Kaya and I made the fried chicken video (which received an unheralded 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes – no need to fact check that) the week before she entered kindergarten.  Fast forward one year to the present, or the present of few weeks ago.  Once again, Kaya and I had a week and a half to hang out before she started school – this time 1st grade! And so we conspired to make another postmodern masterpiece/ recipe video for a dish that both have a deep and abiding love for: stir-fried noodles  aka chow mein.

Now I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by saying that noodles in whatever form (soup, pan fried, deep fried, saucy, dry) are soul food for Asians.  Its the perfect peasant food: a starch (it could be rice, wheat, buckwheat, potato, buckwheat, mung bean, semolina, etc.) in long strand form that when cooked correctly is chewy, springy, slurpy and soaks up whatever sauce or flavor surrounds it.  Marco Polo definitely knew what was up when he brought them from China and introduced them to the West.  I don’t even know if that story is really true, but it sounds good and if it is, I’d like to think it’s because Marco knew that a life without noodles was really not worth living. I know that in my own experience, whenever I’ve been traveling or in a place where noodles are not well represented, the first thing I’ll gravitate towards when I’m back on familiar ground is a big bowl of pho, pad thai, chow fun or chow mein.  One of my favorite meals as a kid was my mom’s chow mein. She’d make it with thinner Hong Kong style egg noodles with celery and pork.  Obviously they were delicious out of the wok, but we’d eat them with a dollop of Dijon mustard and a drizzle of black vinegar. I have no idea if this was a Chinese tradition, a Hong Kong mash-up or a family predilection.  All I know is it was delicious.  And so now that I’m a parent – you know circle of life and all that – I feel that is my privilege to introduce to my kids the joy of eating noodles.  That’s how culture is passed on folks.  Trust me. I was an Anthro major so that basically makes me an expert.

The go-to chow mein in our house is a Shanghai style chow mein, made with thick wheat-based noodles. We buy packages of these fresh noodles at our local 99 Ranch.  They should look something like this.

This is a package of fresh Shanghainese noodles that I actually froze so I can use at a later date.

This is the after shot of these noodles. That’s what I’m talking about! I usually eat them with a healthy spoonful of sambal and and a drizzle of black vinegar. It’s heaven in a bowl.

It’s a really simple recipe that that draws on my time working at an Asian Fusion restaurant back in the day when Asian Fusion was THE new thing, at least in the Bay Area. Yes, I’m totally dating myself since that was a long ass time ago and Asian inspired food has long since entered the mainstream. It’s also a recipe derived in part from watching my parents cook and cooking with my sis.  Shout out, Cheryl! Don’t we look hella young in those videos?

Here’s the basic recipe. As usual, because I’m not a baker, amounts are approximates.

Ingredients:
2 lbs Shanghainese noodles (fresh, uncooked)
4-6 carrots
1/2 head of red cabbage
1-2 tbsp of chopped garlic
1-2 tbsp of chopped ginger
salt to taste
white pepper to taste
1/3 cup of mushroom soy
3 tsp of sugar

Now check out this most excellent and entertaining vid to so how we do it:

Did you notice that unlike most of the other posts on this blog, this recipe is vegetarian? In fact, it’s so vegetarian is vegan?!?  Yup, I got you, my non animal product eating brothers and sisters!  But I’ve also got your back if you like to eat the meat.  So as a bonus, because you deserve it, I’m including the following recipe for The World’s Easiest Stir Fried Chicken. I kid you not, this will take you 15 minutes to prepare and it adds a bit of chicken protein to whatever vegetarian or vegan meal you cook up, but especially these noodles.

Case in point:

Chow mein topped with the worlds easiest stir fried chicken.

Ingredients:
1 lb boneless skinless chicken thighs cut into pieces (don’t even think about using breast meat)
1-2 tsp of sesame oil
2 tbsp of fish sauce
1-2 tbsp of soy sauce
1-2 tsp of sugar
1/4 tsp of corn starch

And here’s how I do it:

There comes moment in everyone’s life where you just have to take a stand. In the era of Trump, that’s not so hard.  He’s an asshole AND a dick and basically a terrible, piece of garbage human being.  So I decided, I really needed to make this public service announcement about the dangers of Trump. If you’re a Trump supporter, I’m sorry to offend and feel free to boycott this blog. Also, I know that’s probably not going to happen because because I’m pretty sure there are only three readers of this blog: me, my sis and my mom and we definitely didn’t vote for Trump.  Anyway, for those of you who grew up in the 80s in the “Just Say No” era of American Drug policy, will be familiar with the following motif.  For those who are not (I’m talking to you, millennials) prepare to have your brains blown, or fried.

Ingredients:
1 egg
butter
Tapatío hotsauce

Look what we made!

I’m a child of the 70s and 80s which makes me 1) old and 2) able to remember a time before a lot of processed and pre- packaged foods. That’s not to say that those things didn’t exist. Kraft mac n’ cheese was a much loved (if infrequent) treat as were Swanson’s chicken pot pies, hot dogs and potato chips.  But my mom, whose Chinese roots (via Hong Kong) mixed with the hippie, DIY ethos of the time made sure that most of what we ate was homemade and nutritious.  I can’t always vouch for the deliciousness.   Check out my old meatloaf post for a description of how my mom riffed on the classic American dish to varying degrees of success.  This was also the era of carob bars instead of chocolate and health-food store peanut butter made of freshly ground peanuts (and nothing else) instead of JIF or Skippy which contained a whole lot of salt and sugar and tasted how peanut butter SHOULD taste).  But looking back now, I realize how lucky we were to grow up in a house where food was something you cooked and not just retrieved from a box or heated up in the microwave.  I credit my parents with making me the eater I am today and the cook. Today all these years later, I’m proud to carry on the tradition of preparing as many home cooked meals as I can and I think it’s having an effect.  Judging by the way my kids eat, I’m happy to say they’re little chips off the old gluttonous blocks (me AND Shefali, who’s no slouch in the eating department).  I’m also seeing glimmers of a real interest in cooking.  First daughter Kaya loves to watch us cook and help out when she can. Second daughter, Mona, not yet two, lacks basic motor skills but if her man-sized appetite is any indication, she’s going to be a beast in the kitchen.  It’s fair to say that both girls have spent a good portion of their lives in the kitchen because that’s where we spend most of our time. And so it only felt natural to start making videos with them. After all, Kaya’s been part of this blog and in these videos since she was just a baby.

So for her first video where she is an active and willing participant, we decided to make something pretty easy but really good. In fact this is Kaya’s favorite for breakfast: granola.  I basically took a recipe from Alton Brown and made some of my own little tweaks (a little less salt, more oats, coconuts and almonds) and the results have been uniformly GOOD!!!  But don’t just take my word for it. Take Kaya’s.

Here are the ingredients:
3 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup slivered almonds
1 1/2 cups dried coconut flakes
2 tbsp chia seeds
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp maple syrup
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup of dried cranberries.

And here’s how we do it:

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